Surrender

I surrender all
I surrender all
All to Thee my blessed Savior
I surrender all.

We sang that chorus in church this morning and it really made me think. First of all, I felt like a serious hypocrite singing it! Do I really surrender all?? No. Are there things that I am holding onto and refusing to give God control of? Yes. It was like a huge slap in the face this morning. I didn't want to sing those words, because I didn't want to give up my control on certain things.
How arrogant is that? Like I can do a better job than God? Do I think that as a flawed and sinful person, I can do a better job at controlling my life than the Creator of the Universe?

I know the answers to these questions--and I ultimately know in my head that God's way is the best and only way. But, my heart hangs onto these things, because I want things to go MY way, and I think I'm afraid that if I give it over to God then I won't get what I want.
Oh--it is hard to write those words! God is working in my heart and I need to do my part and listen and submit to HIS will, not mine.