Stress

I know that I have a lot to be thankful for--Nicholas is healthy and a happy, beautiful baby. But with the issues with his arm, have come things that I wasn't prepared for.
I feel like I don't "play" with him, like I played with Ryan. Yes, we play and do tummy time and do the same things that I did with Ryan. But, I feel like I'm doing these things for his therapy and I'm constantly watching his movements to see if they are "normal" or if he is progressing the way he should. Every time he hits the fish in his gym, I'm watching the way he moves his arm; trying to see if both arms are moving the same and checking the position of his hand. I'm not playing with him and just enjoying my baby--I'm playing with him, analyzing his movements and hoping that he is going to be okay and that his arm will recover completely.
I don't know how parents with special needs children do it--constantly questioning if every thing your child does is "normal." Nicholas' issue is minor, but it still comes with stress and baggage. It is hard not to compare your child to others and every baby is different, so it is also a pretty fruitless exercise. I just don't want to look back and feel like I "missed" this stage because all I didn't take the time to enjoy Nicholas for who he is, rather than focus on what he can or can't do.