Christmas!

This Christmas started off a little bumpy! We were set to leave for Washington on the morning of the 23rd. We planned to be there in time for my parent's party and then stay through the weekend and see various family during the visit. Well, Nicholas had a pretty nasty cold and we really weren't sure if we should go. We prayed about it when we put Nicholas to bed and asked for wisdom to make the right decision and that it would be very clear to us what we should do. 2 hours later Nicholas started throwing up. Decision made. I just wish that the Lord's answer hadn't been in that medium.
So--on the 23rd, the first order of business was to break the news to Ryan that we were not going to Grandma's. He was pretty upset, but we told him that we would go when Nicholas was feeling better. I was feeling a little pressure--first Christmas we have ever spent at home and I have no menus planned, no groceries etc.
On the 24th, I ran to WinCo in the morning and stocked up! And then proceeded to cook for the rest of the day. I did a roast chicken in the crockpot, homemade stuffing, cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning, mashed potatoes and a birthday cake for Jesus (a baseball one!) We went to church that evening and came home, had dinner and the boys opened their Christmas jammies and Christmas book.

It was a little more hectic than I would have liked, but in an ideal world, I would have had more time to plan and execute, and no sick child.
We woke up in our own beds on Christmas morning and did stockings, then breakfast. After breakfast, we read the Christmas story and opened our gifts under the tree. Nicholas really liked his new blanket (thank you Amy!!), and tried to eat a lot of wrapping paper! Ryan was super excited about his remote control car, his Candy Land game and his scooter. After gifts, Nicholas napped and we got packed and headed to Yakima. We spent the remainder of Christmas Day with Jamie's mom and then spent the 26th with my family. And then headed home on the 27th. Short visit, but almost easier since we weren't bouncing from house to house.

More Ryan-isms

I promise that I will get Christmas stuff up on the blog, but Ryan has come out with some great sayings the past few days.

On Christmas Eve, Jamie told Ryan, "Ryan you are a handsome man."
Ryan: I'm not a handsome man!
Jamie: Oh, you are a handsome boy.
Ryan: I'm not a handsome boy.
Jamie: What are you then?
Ryan: I'm just handsome.

Yesterday, Ryan said, "Nicholas is a handfuller." (I think a combo of handful and hairpuller)
Ryan also was helping yesterday and said, "Nicholas Michael, eat your dinner for mommy!"

We were at a friend's house for a play date and the other child was practicing some letters on the chalkboard. His mom said that he is learning to write his name. Ever the modest one, Ryan says, "I know how to write my name. I'm not working on it--I already know how." (A little embarrassing!)

Ryan calls the man in Curious George, "The man with the yellow pants," instead of "the man in the yellow hat." Now, he does have yellow pants too...so I don't argue.

And because this blog is mostly for me to keep record of things, not to brag, but Ryan spent most of dinner yesterday working on sounding out the words on the salad dressing bottles. So proud of him and excited that he wants to be reading!

Visit to Santa

Now, we are not really "into" Santa at our house. We talk about how he is something fun to pretend about, but he is not real. However, 'tis the season for photo ops, and so off we went to see Santa! Ryan knows that he is just a man who is dressed up, but he still didn't really want much to do with him. (The stranger anxiety lives on..) Nicholas was fascinated by him. I could tell he just wanted to grab that beard and pull.
Anyway, we know he isn't real, but we got some cute photos!!

Ryan Quotes of the Past Week

Ryan told me the other day during dinner, "Mommy, you can't drink too much pop because you have to feed a baby." (Note: I don't drink any pop, and when did my 3 year old become a lactation consultant?)

Ryan asked if we could get "macaroni" on our pizza. He meant pepperoni--but he always mixes those up!

Ryan is adamant that we need to bake a baseball cake for Jesus for Christmas. Not sure how to respond to that one, but I think I'm going to have to bake a baseball cake.

Ryan calls candy canes, "candy cans".

Okay--baby is crying and 3 year old is not resting! Blogging break is over!

Enter: The Imaginary Friend

I know it has been over a month since I last updated. Seriously, I understand why people stop blogging when their second baby is born! I am resolving to do better, and I do have things to post!

Ryan has an imaginary friend. He calls her, "Pretend Madison" but it is just Madison as of late. I think this is to differentiate her from Cousin Madison, Church Madison and Friend or Neighbor Madison. (And yes, he does use the labels when he talks about or to them!) So, Madison (of the imaginary variety) has joined our household. Seriously, if I could figure out how to evict an imaginary friend, I would do it! She is naughty and is always doing bad things. And I'm sure a psychologist could tell me why, but right now, I just have to deal. I used to tell Ryan that she had to go home if she was naughty, but he informed me this past week that she lives with us. Great...

Madison was hitting Ryan and Nicholas on the car ride home the other day. I told her that she would have to be in time out when she got home. Then, she hit me. I had to tell Madison that if she hit again, I was going to pull the car over and give her a spanking. She didn't hit anymore--thank goodness. I was not sure what I really would have done if she had. How do you spank an imaginary child??
And talk about feeling like you are going crazy! When did I start having to discipline imaginary children??

The next day, Madison hit Ryan before we had even pulled out of the driveway. I told her that she couldn't go with us and opened my door and let her out. (Ryan told me that she got out). Then, while we were running errands, Ryan started to say something to Madison. Then, he said, "Oh, yeah. She's not here, we left her at home!" So, he pretended to call her on his "cell phone."

That evening, Ryan wanted me to give Madison dinner. So, I waved my hand around and pretended to fix a plate. I handed the pretend plate to Ryan and he handed it back and said, "Madison is allergic to spaghetti." I told Ryan that he had to fix her dinner then!

I love his creativity and imagination. I love his pretend games and how fun he is. I do not love Pretend Madison. I suppose it is a package deal, but I've got to get that imaginary friend to start behaving! (Like I don't have enough trouble getting my real child to behave, now I have pretend children to parent also??) Any ideas on how to make pretend children follow the house rules??

A New Car, and a Lesson learned!

I am a control freak. There is no use mincing words--that is the truth. I have a VERY difficult time with situations that I am not in control over. Relinquishing my "control" to God is one of the things that I struggle with daily. (You need to know this in order to understand the rest of this story!)

We needed a new(er) car. I bought the escort from my parents in 1999, after I graduated high school for $2,500. We hit a deer in our Escort wagon about 5 years ago. The airbags deployed, the windshield was cracked (that is an understatement!) and there were some major dents! However, it was running great and so we kept it and Jamie drove it to and from work. (Without a complaint, I might add!) Well, it has not been running well as of late and we aren't going to put money into a 15 year old car that is essentially totalled. Plus, trips are getting harder with two kids and all the stuff they require. We needed something with a little more cargo space!

So, we started looking on Craig's List and didn't find much. On Thursday, we found quite a few listings and made a few phone calls. I called on about 4 listings, all were salvage titles, which we were not interested in. Jamie had emailed on a listing and after we got some additional information, it seemed like this car was a definite possibility. But, we were determined to pay cash and not have a car payment. We weren't sure that the seller would accept what we could offer. Well, Jamie set up a time to go look at the car. And I was a little hesitant, because it was after bed-time for Nicholas, but thought it might work. Nope--Nicholas was exhausted and I told Jamie that I would stay with the boys and he could go. He went--and made an offer (contingent on the inspection). And I was okay with it. We had to wait, but the seller called the next day and accepted our offer--no counter offer. The price they accepted, was $900 less than the asking price, and was the amount that I was okay with. (Any more would have made me nervous!) Then, when our mechanic had a look at the car, I couldn't go again. Nicholas hadn't napped well all day and desperately needed a good long nap. I couldn't in good conscience drag him all over town. So, I stayed home again. The inspection was fine, and so Jamie agreed to buy the car.

But, I have yet to lay eyes on the car! And normally, that would freak me out! But, through the whole thing, I felt like God was asking me to give up my control on the situation and trust Jamie to make the decision. Not a strong point for me. However, I was able to do it and God gave me a peace about the entire situation. I was not anxious or nervous and I didn't have trouble trusting Jamie's judgment. I felt that God was calling me to do this; and He made it very easy for me to obey. Looking back, I can see God's hand in every step of this situation. None of the cars I called about were viable, the timing didn't work for me to see the car, the seller accepted the exact price that I was comfortable with without countering and the mechanic's inspection was good.

We picked up the car today. I didn't get to see it until we showed up with a check in hand! I really do like it! It drives nicely and I am excited that God has helped provide this car for us! And, not only did we get a car, but I learned to relinquish my control and follow God's leading. Which is probably more important than a car in the long run.

Nicholas--a long overdue post!

How did my baby get to be 6 months old already? I'm going to be very interested to see what kind of kiddo Nicholas is going to become in the next year. He definitely has personality! He is such a busy little guy! He wants to grab anything and everything and put it in his mouth. Except he isn't such a fan of eating baby food yet. He loves to roll, but he can only go one direction. He often gets himself stuck against a wall or on the hard kitchen floor and then starts to cry.
Nicholas is both scheduled and go with the flow. He still can be a terrible napper, but if he misses a nap, it isn't the end of the world. Give him his binky, and he will roll with the punches. Bedtime--a totally different story. By 6:00, he is usually in full meltdown mode and we see how fast we can get the bath done, jammies on and get him fed!
Nicholas loves to watch Ryan and Ryan makes him laugh so much! Of course, Nicholas also likes to grab Ryan, pull his hair and Ryan isn't okay with that. Nicholas is so sweet with his baby kisses and I love how excited he gets when I pick him up at noon everyday!
I feel so incredibly blessed to be the mommy of this precious little pumpkin!

It's the Great Pumpkin(s)!

A month or so ago, I was pulling out the tub of 6-9 month baby clothes out of the garage and the baby pumpkin costume was in there. Ryan saw it, and asked about it. I told him that Nicholas was going to be a pumpkin for Halloween. Ryan immediately decided that he too wanted to be a pumpkin. Hmmm...am I going to turn down a request for my boys to match? Nope!
We had a blast at the AWANA carnival, a birthday party and trick or treating.

Doing too much...and doing nothing well.

This time of year is always hard--there are four million things going on, and even though I feel like I should be in a routine by now, things still seem to be creeping up on me. Then, I find myself scrambling at the last minute. And maybe I pull it off, but I don't feel good about it because it was stressful.
And of course, I have a few areas (okay, a lot of areas) where I over commit myself. I end up stretching myself too thin, and I get stressed. There are a few other areas where I am very perfectionistic, and I want to be able to put more time and effort than I sometimes can. So, I have over-scheduled myself and feel like I'm only giving everything about 25%. And I am rarely satisfied with the results.
My goal for myself is to eliminate the drama. Everything is not a catastrophe. I read a saying, "Failure to plan on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part." Ouch. And I do plan, but in my rush and hurry, I overlook the details. So, then I am stuck at the last minute without something.
And, I freak out.
This is not who I want to be. This is not an example I want to set. I want to be "together." I need to learn that I am not indispensable. There are other people who can teach Sunday school, bring a meal or organize a meeting. I do not have to say yes to everything.
Baby steps.
Yesterday, I went to an amazing seminar at church. I had planned to leave early, since I knew Nicholas would need to eat again before it was over. I had an extra hour to get dinner ready for someone with a new baby, get dinner ready for my own family and there was no drama. I'm learning that I need to over-estimate how long something will take--and if I don't have time to do it well, I need to say no. (I realize I'm rambling) Some things will still not get 100%--I don't think I can say that I can't cook dinner because I don't have the time to devote 100% to it, but I think for now, that is going to have to be okay.
Progress, not perfection.

Pumpkins!

It was an absolutely beautiful sunny fall day here today. It was the perfect pumpkin patch day! We went to E.Z. Orchards this morning and had a blast! Ryan loved it and Nicholas seemed to enjoy the day as well! This is one of my favorite fall traditions!


Nicholas tries to put EVERYTHING in his mouth!


My cute boys with their pumpkins!

Not a coincidence.

It is not a coincidence that the last day I blogged was the day before school started. I was not prepared for how busy life was going to get with school starting, AWANA, adjusting to a new school and having to drop off and pick up children in different locations.
Since I last blogged....
--Ryan has started preschool! He absolutely loves it and can't wait to go each week. I was a little nervous about how the adjustment would be, but it has been fine. No tears at all. He is starting to seem so grown up in a lot of respects, and then we have another tantrum and I change my opinion! One of his teachers in daycare today told me how Ryan is very humble. I thought that was so nice, but about an hour later, Ryan told me that he knows more things than me. Hmm...not sure humble is the right word.

--AWANA has started. This has made Wednesdays really crazy for our family and Jamie and I have been very busy. And Ryan started Cubbies this year! We have been working on his verses at home and while I have to trick him into practicing them, he really is doing great! Cubbies is the highlight of his week! And I think he likes that Mommy comes to Cubbies and leads songs and the pledges. :)


--Nicholas is finally settling into a routine, unfortunately it doesn't include sleeping through the night. :( He is doing great at Mindi's during the mornings though and we have so much fun with him in the afternoons. It is so amazing to see him watch every move Ryan makes. You can tell that he just loves Ryan and is in awe of him already. It just melts your heart! And Ryan can make Nicholas laugh more than anyone. I love that even though Nicholas is only 5 months old, I can watch my boys be silly together and make each other laugh.

--Work is starting to settle into a routine for me, but it is definitely an adjustment being in a new school. I really like it though, but it is pretty different from where I was in a lot of respects. I'm learning to adjust to change better but everything is requiring more work. For the past four years, I've been in the same classroom, with the same assistant and have pretty much been able to follow the same basic structure and routine. This year, I do not have all the familiar supplies and books that I have used in years past. I have no assistant and a different population that I am teaching. It forces me to figure out new routines and strategies, which is good for me. Keeps me learning!
That is what the Brulotte's have been up to for the past few weeks! I'll hopefully have more regular updates--but kids are in bed now, so I have to get lunches made and get my kitchen cleaned!

Last Day of Summer!

We had a great last day of summer. We stayed in our pajamas most of the morning and I got to sleep in! The morning got even better when Nicholas rolled over for the first time (tummy to back). He has been so close and I was really hoping he didn't do it while I was at work for the first time. But, I got to see it this morning during tummy time! He did it two more times later in the day as well.
I got a nap in the afternoon and we went to E.Z. Orchards for some produce after naps. Of course, we had to hit the Shortcake Stand for milkshakes too!



We grilled hamburgers and had fresh corn for dinner. And Nicholas was laughing so hard during dinner at Ryan. (video below--but please excuse the messy table, I hadn't put everything away yet!)
All in all a great day--but really not sure if I'm ready for Ryan to start school tomorrow!

Wordless Wednesday--Peek-a-Boo!

Does it get any cuter?

Grammar Lesson

Today, I was trying to teach Ryan the proper times to use the word "he" and "him." He wasn't understanding that "Look at he" is not proper grammar. So, I gave him some examples and then told him, "If I were going to give you something, I would say, 'I am going to give this to him.'" Ryan looked at me and said, "And then, I would say thank you."

Send in the big guns!

This morning, I got up with Nicholas at 6 and Jamie slept in. However, we have a wedding to attend this afternoon and we really need to get up and moving. So, around 7:15, Nicholas and I went in to wake Jamie up. Cute baby smiles and kisses just weren't getting the job done.

So, 15 minutes later, I send in the artillery: Ryan. He marches in there and announces to Jamie that, "Mommy says it's time for you to get up." Oh, he doesn't leave it at that. He climbs right up on the bed and starts talking. And keeps talking (like 3 year olds can do!) until Jamie is out of bed! I should have known from the start that Ryan was the right kid for the job!

Just Growing...

The other day, Ryan and I were driving down the road (Nicholas was there too, but he doesn't talk yet). Ryan was talking about when he gets big and how he is going to be a grown up. I asked him what he wants to be when he grows up. I could tell he was thinking about it for awhile and then he says, "I don't know yet Mommy. Right now, I'm just growing and growing."

Camping

A few weeks ago, we went on our annual camping trip with our Sunday School class. It is always a ton of fun, but I was a little nervous about camping with a baby. We did do this camping trip when Ryan was about the same age, but I ended up coming home early with Ryan because he didn't sleep. Nicholas is a camping champ! He slept great both nights and even napped okay. I had forgotten to have him take a few naps in the pack and play before we left, so this trip was the first time he slept in the pack and play too.
Ryan had a blast riding his bike, riding a borrowed scooter and playing on the slip and slide. And for the first year, Ryan was independent enough for us to sit down and not have to be right there with him every minute. It was a great time--can't wait for next year!

The Dictionary According to Ryan

Here are some of the words Ryan mixes up--and it is so cute, I hate to correct him!

A base (like on a baseball field)--a basement
A mitt--a mitten
Hot cocoa--Hot Coconut
Pinecone--Pineapple

Brothers

Swimming.....or not swimming in our case

This week, we started swimming lessons. First, I need to preface this by saying that Ryan loves to swim. He has loved swimming every time we have gone and is not afraid of the water.
However, Ryan is absolutely refusing to get in the water for swimming lessons. He is excited to go every day, he talks about what he is going to do, but then will not get in. We have tried bribing him, just putting him in kicking and screaming, talking about it, getting there early to watch first, time out, you name it.
Ryan is the kind of child who does things on his time, his terms and you can't push him. Well, you can try to push him...hasn't worked for me yet. Hmm....who does this sound like?? Yes, he does get this from me.
Bill Cosby talks about the "mother's curse." The old "I hope when you grow up you get a child exactly like you?" Well, it worked. I talked with my mom and apparently I also refused to get in the water for swimming lessons. For an entire summer.
Note to reader--I apologized to both my parents today for being such a pain in the neck. Funny, they seem to find the entire situation with Ryan to be pretty comical. In fact, my dad couldn't stop laughing.
We will see how the next 6 lessons go. After talking with my parents, I'm not optimistic. But Ryan did scream a little less today when I put him in the pool. And he didn't scream quite as long after he got out (30 seconds later). Progress....not perfection.

He is on a roll....

Okay--more Ryan quotes!

--The other day, I was sitting with Nicholas on my lap. And Nicholas (very noisily) fills his diaper. Ryan turns around and asks, "Mommy, was that you or Nicholas?" Are you serious???

--We were driving and Ryan was talking about when he grows up. I asked him what he wanted to be when he grows up. He thinks for a second, then says, "I just don't know yet Mommy. Right now, I'm just growing and growing."

--Ryan loves to talk about huge things that are very "bigantic."

--Today at dinner, I was telling Jamie something and he said that it was hilarious. Ryan starts laughing and saying how hilarious it was. I asked him if he thought it was funny and Ryan said that he thought it was hilarious too. Then he says, "What are we talking about?"

Stress

I know that I have a lot to be thankful for--Nicholas is healthy and a happy, beautiful baby. But with the issues with his arm, have come things that I wasn't prepared for.
I feel like I don't "play" with him, like I played with Ryan. Yes, we play and do tummy time and do the same things that I did with Ryan. But, I feel like I'm doing these things for his therapy and I'm constantly watching his movements to see if they are "normal" or if he is progressing the way he should. Every time he hits the fish in his gym, I'm watching the way he moves his arm; trying to see if both arms are moving the same and checking the position of his hand. I'm not playing with him and just enjoying my baby--I'm playing with him, analyzing his movements and hoping that he is going to be okay and that his arm will recover completely.
I don't know how parents with special needs children do it--constantly questioning if every thing your child does is "normal." Nicholas' issue is minor, but it still comes with stress and baggage. It is hard not to compare your child to others and every baby is different, so it is also a pretty fruitless exercise. I just don't want to look back and feel like I "missed" this stage because all I didn't take the time to enjoy Nicholas for who he is, rather than focus on what he can or can't do.

Ryan-isms

Three year olds are highly entertaining--at least at my house! Ryan has been saying some funny stuff lately and I have to get it documented before I forget! We were looking back at some home videos the other day from when Ryan was about 18 months. I had totally forgotten what he used to say and sound like. Then we found some video from this past December, and it is amazing at how much he has changed in 6 months. He says words more clearly and now says sounds that he couldn't say 6 months ago. I think that once they start talking, you miss the subtle changes in their language development until you really look back. (Okay--that was a little rabbit trail, but I'll get to the quotes!)

--Today, Nicholas was making his baby noises and Ryan said, "Mommy, Nicholas is making noises for Jesus up in Heaven!" Then, he had to pray to let God know that Nicholas was making noises for Jesus.

--Ryan loves hot chocolate, but he calls it "Hot Coconut." :)

--Ryan can eat spaghetti like no kid I have ever seen. He loves it...especially the "Mara-aira" sauce.

--Sassy little turkey told me the other day, "No mommy, I'm talking, look at my eyes." He also has said, "Listen to my words Mommy." And then, we had the "do we discipline? moment when Ryan said, "Daddy, I just want you to stop bossing me around." (We did have a talk about that one!)

A LONG wait.

Many of you know that I have been struggling with my job situation. I love my co-workers, but some of the challenges there were difficult. I was hoping to move schools last year, but it was very clear that God wanted me to stay put. Then, near the end of this year, it seemed that God was preparing me for a move. Some things happened which would have made it very difficult to stay there, and stay part time. I just prayed for direction and that God would put me in the place that was right for me. I was able to have a great conversation with my principal and we discussed that staying there was not the best thing for my family. So, a transfer was put in and I found out the next day that I would be moving to another morning kinder position in the district. It is mid-way between our baby-sitter's house and our church where Ryan will be in pre-school.
It is an answer to prayer--and I had actually applied for this position. I got a notification that it was canceled and found out that I would be moving there a few hours later. I'm very excited to start in a new school! I'm hoping that excitement will still be there when I deal with the reality of leaving Nicholas to go to work!

Not tired?

The other night, I was awake feeding Nicholas and I could hear Ryan crying and talking in his sleep. After I put Nicholas down, I went into Ryan's room to try to settle him down. He was still talking, so I rubbed his back for a little while. As I'm doing that, Ryan keeps saying over and over, "I'm not tired, I'm not tired, I'm not tired." He was FAST asleep the entire time!

Making Progress

When Nicholas was born, he had a brachio-plexus injury. This is basically a nerve strain in his neck that affected the movement of his arm. We aren't sure if this occured before he was born, or if it happened during the birth; but when he was first born, he could not move his right arm at all.

So, while in the hospital, Nicholas had x-rays done, saw the orthopedist and at 10 days old had his first physical therapy appointment. At 11 days old, we went up to OHSU in Portland to see the orthopedist.

It was really hard for me--especially after I did some research on this issue and freaked myself out. I haven't talked much about this and most people can't even tell that anything was wrong at this point.
We have gotten a lot of good news, and the movement is coming back to Nicholas' arm better than we expected. He now has a pretty good range of motion, but we still have work to do. He still does have areas that need improvement, and we are continuing with his therapy. We don't know how long this will continue or if this will affect motor skills in the future (like crawling).
The power of prayer is amazing. I know that we have had friends and family all over the country praying for Nicholas and the orthopedist up in Portland was amazed at how much motion was coming back on its own at 11 days old. God has definitely been at work in helping Nicholas to heal, but also in helping me to come to terms with this issue. It is hard knowing that some babies with this injury do not fully recover. We are praying that Nicholas will continue to improve and that he will completely recover and be able to have full strength and use of his arm and hand. He is such a blessing to us and an example of God's faithfulness to answer prayer!

2 months!

Nicholas is two-months old tomorrow! He is such a doll and will now smile and laugh for you if you talk to him. He loves laying under his gym and hitting the toys and he is starting to like tummy time a little better!

He is getting SO big! We pulled out the 3-6 month clothes this past weekend, and they fit! It is crazy how fast the time goes!

K is for...

If you have met Ryan, you know that he has some speech issues. A star is a "tar", and a car is also a "tar". And of course, his favorite place to go is "tarbucks."
Last night, I was trying to correct him and get him to say "cart," emphasizing the cccc sound. Ryan looked at me and said, "that word starts with a k!"
As a kinder teacher and a proud mommy, I just LOVE when he gets things like that!!

(And yes--I understand that cart doesn't start with a k, but at this stage, just connecting the sound to the letter is important.)

Planning...

Today, we were sitting in the conference room at church during an AWANA meeting. Ryan was sitting next to me, and was drawing on a paper with my pen. He looks at me expectantly with his pen poised in the air, and says, "What are we planning to do today Mommy?"

Oh my. Anyone care to guess who he got this from?

Finally done!

I think I started my master's program in the Fall of 2005. I was working full-time, so I started just taking one class at a time. Then, summers came, and I took a few more classes during the summer. Ryan was born, and I took a full year off from taking classes and resumed my program at Corban in the winter of 2008. I FINALLY finished my program this spring and two weeks after Nicholas was born, I got to officially graduate!

Happy Birthday to Ryan--in March!

Ryan turned three at the end of March. We ended up postponing his birthday party, since he was sick, but a week later we had a great baseball party!

Catching up...

Okay--lately, naps have been taking precedence over blogging. But I realized how far behind I am. So, get ready! We have a birthday, a graduation and a LOT of Ryan quotes to catch up on!

Welcome Nicholas!

On April 16th, Jamie and I dropped Ryan off with our neighbors and headed to Salem Hospital to be induced. I really had no idea what to expect with an induction, since my water broke with Ryan. By 8:30 a.m., I was hooked up to the pitocin and an IV and the waiting started!

Contractions started an hour or so later and by 11:30, I was having very intense, very painful and very LONG contractions! I had all back labor with Ryan, so these contractions were much easier and I was able to breathe through most of them until they got really big. Seriously, they seemed like they were never going to end and after the second one I asked for the epidural. The doctor was in about 2 minutes later to do the epidural--which was painful, especially since I was having another monster contraction while they were doing it!

After the epidural, I was able to relax and I started getting really bored! I read my entire book, watched TV and by 2:30, when the doctor checked me, I was between 2 and 3 centimeters dilated--exactly where I was when I checked in! That was REALLY discouraging and the doctor decided to crank up the pitocin. After that, things started moving along a little bit faster.

My parents and in-laws showed up at some point and Ryan even came to visit. He was very wary of the whole thing and refused to come say hi to me. Everyone went to get some dinner--and I was left to starve and have more contractions. By the time they all got back, things had progressed even further and I was getting really shaky. My doctor came in and told us it was time to push!

I pushed through about 5 contractions--about 15 minutes, and baby was here! Nicholas Michael arrived at 7:39 p.m., weighing 9 lbs, 1 oz and measuring 21 inches long.

Welcome to our family Nicholas, we are so excited that you are here!!

Nap time!

Today after we finished lunch, I was just exhausted! So, I told Jamie that I was going to go nap, even though it was still about 15 minutes before Ryan needed to lay down.
Well, Ryan decided that he needed to put me down for my nap--much like I do for him. He walked me to my room and gave me hugs and kisses. Then, he prayed for me to get the rest that I needed and thanked God for me listening to my body and going potty. After this, we rubbed noses, I gave him "stamps" (our weird routine) and Ryan told me very sternly that unless I took a good nap, we could not go to the carousel this afternoon!
What a funny kid!
(Note: I napped for 1.5 hours. Hopefully that is long enough for me to go to the carousel today!) :)

Getting bigger!

I was getting dressed this morning and as I was pulling my shirt over my head, Ryan walked into my room. He looked at me and my stomach, and very seriously said, "I think that the baby might be really big."
Oh, the things they say!!

19 days!!!

Can you believe that there are only 19 days until baby #2 is due to arrive??? I'm freaking out just a little!
19 days just doesn't seem like quite enough time to prepare--both physically and mentally. In a lot of ways, I'm really ready to be DONE with pregnancy. And in a lot of ways, I'm not ready--because I know how much work it is going to be once he arrives!
I'm also a little sad that I'm down to just a short time left with just Ryan. He is such a joy and I'm going to miss being able to give him all of my attention. (Although, I know that having a brother will be SO good for him!)

19 days.....

Not such a "break", although it does feel like spring!

We have been incredibly blessed this winter with Ryan's health. This is the first time since he was born, that we haven't met our insurance deductible in January! This is also the first winter that he hasn't had pneumonia. But, on Thursday last week, he got a pretty nasty cold. He's had a few colds this winter, but we've made it through without trips to the doctor or even having to start his asthma meds.
This one was different. We had a pretty rough Saturday and started Ryan on his asthma meds. Then, we had a REALLY rough Saturday night and his albuterol wasn't helping much. I called the doctor on Sunday and we ended up in the office on Monday. The doctor heard wheezing and we had to start him on a steroid medication. He's had these before and they always wreak havoc with his system.
This was no exception. Ryan pretty much threw a three hour tantrum on Tuesday morning--refusing to do anything, and everything I said caused a complete meltdown. Yesterday was a little better, and today a little worse.
Thank goodness for spring break! Either Jamie or I would have needed to be off work to take care of him for the last few days and that is a hard situation right now. Any days I take mean fewer paid days of maternity leave and any days that Jamie takes means fewer days he can take off after the baby is born.
So, I would definitely not classify this spring break as a "vacation," since tantrums, meltdowns and a cranky sick kid have made this week less than relaxing. But, if Ryan had to get sick, he did pick a good time!

Surrender

I surrender all
I surrender all
All to Thee my blessed Savior
I surrender all.

We sang that chorus in church this morning and it really made me think. First of all, I felt like a serious hypocrite singing it! Do I really surrender all?? No. Are there things that I am holding onto and refusing to give God control of? Yes. It was like a huge slap in the face this morning. I didn't want to sing those words, because I didn't want to give up my control on certain things.
How arrogant is that? Like I can do a better job than God? Do I think that as a flawed and sinful person, I can do a better job at controlling my life than the Creator of the Universe?

I know the answers to these questions--and I ultimately know in my head that God's way is the best and only way. But, my heart hangs onto these things, because I want things to go MY way, and I think I'm afraid that if I give it over to God then I won't get what I want.
Oh--it is hard to write those words! God is working in my heart and I need to do my part and listen and submit to HIS will, not mine.

Projects

We are in the midst of turning our guest room/catch-all room into a room for our new baby! The guest room closet had turned into a dumping ground for anything we didn't seem to have a spot for and cleaning it out has been quite a project! Seriously, the things you find! I really don't think that I need to keep a file box full of papers from Baptist Heritage that I took my sophomore or junior year in college! Sleeping bags and air mattresses have been moved to the garage and the most devastating part.....
is that Jamie and I now have to SHARE a closet. Okay, go ahead and laugh, but we have been blessed to have an extra bedroom in every place that we have lived and Jamie's closet has always been in that extra bedroom. I'm mourning the loss of my closet space, but I bit the bullet and moved most of Jamie's stuff into my closet today. Some organizing of my stuff is going to be required before the move can be completed, but I have really enjoyed having my own space! Now, the downside is that the closets in our house are NOT big, and cramming all our clothes into one closet is going to be a challenge.
I'll post pictures once the room is finished--right now, I would be WAY too embarrassed to share what my guest room currently looks like!

Quote of the Day

"Mommy, I'm sticking my lip out because we don't have anymore Cinnamon Toast Crunch."
says Ryan as he is pouting!
Glad he knows why!

Picking up the Pieces

I finished my thesis!! I submitted my paper last Thursday and felt like a huge weight had been lifted. It is now in the hands of my first and second readers--so more revisions may be on the way, but it is written!
The hard part is now picking up everything I have neglected over the past few months in the process of writing this paper. Oh, the mountains of laundry, the paperwork and just general mess that has been piling up is overwhelming!
I think I have my tax stuff in order--good thing, since we need to get our taxes done BEFORE baby comes. Hopefully our accountant thinks they are in order too!
And....being done with this, means no more excuses! I no longer have a reason to sit with the laptop all evening and ignore the mess around me. I no longer can justify an entire naptime spent on the computer. I cannot use school as an excuse for slacking at home--and I will confess that I have used it as an excuse. Back to the housework plan--and ready to get things in order!!

Testing Limits

For the last few days, I have felt like I've been on an episode of Supernanny. You know how they have the massive time out battles, where they have to keep putting the kid back in time out? Yeah, that was us yesterday. He thought it was so funny, and spankings were not changing his mind about staying in time out. I finally won the battle, and he did his time out, but is it really a victory when you are SO exhausted by the end??
Ryan is pushing every boundary and testing every limit. Seriously, this kid is wearing me out! I got a much needed nap today (and so did Ryan), which really helped my physical and mental state of mind.
We are really working on teaching him that no is not negotiable and that throwing tantrums or whining will not change our minds! Now--this has always been the case, but it seems like he needs to get the picture again.
And you just want to hit your head against the wall, when Ryan tells me, "It makes God sad when I disobey?" And you tell him yes, and then he goes and disobeys again not one second later! I'm sure that God gets just as frustrated with me when I sin and continually fail to listen to Him. This is just one more instance where parenthood has made me even more thankful for God's love and patience.
We are praying for wisdom in this situation and for God's direction in raising this little boy. Because we definitely can't do it on our own!

Getting out!

We enjoyed the sunshine today and Ryan rode his bike for about an hour. We were out so long, that it got pretty late and I had nothing ready for dinner.
So, we decided to go out and we had a gift card which ended up being enough for our entire dinner, which was really nice!

Anyway, we were leaving the restaurant and a car backing up almost hit us. Seriously, it just kept backing up--(way farther than it needed to) and we had to hop onto the curb! I think I said, "Are you kidding?"
Now, the lady was VERY apologetic once she realized what she was doing. But, as we are walking away, Ryan says, "Are you kidding lady?"
The lady did not hear--she had driven away by this point (thank goodness!) Just another reminder for me to be careful about what I say!

Freaking Out (Just a little!)

Well, I am still plugging away on my thesis and thought I should clarify with my adviser about when I am scheduled to present. The date he gave me is 9 days after my due date! I'm not thinking that would go well....hmm...let's put a sleep deprived new mommy in front of a bunch of professors and grad students and expect her to speak coherently about a topic she can't even remember because all she can think about is feedings, diaper changes and sleeping. Anyone think that sounds like a good idea?
So, I asked if I might be able to present with the first group in March. I got a yes....providing that my thesis is done by the 22nd at the VERY latest. Okay, but that seems to be coming up pretty soon, considering this all happened today! I was originally going to be finished by March 15th--so a month early?? No problem, right?
I canceled my women's retreat registration--I'm bummed, but know that even if I am finished in time, I'm probably just going to want to crash and put the shambles of my house back together. I've also canceled just about every commitment for the next two weeks. I really just need to focus and get it done.
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Tummy picture!

Oh--is that not what you all have been wanting to see??

Ryan likes to pretend that there is a baby in his tummy too, and he put his basketball in his shirt!

Chocolate Pizza!

When Ryan pretends that we are going to the store or to Costco, I ask him what we are going to buy. He usually tells me that we are going to buy bananas or chocolate pizza. Now, I have no idea where he came up with the chocolate pizza thing, but he has been saying that for probably 4 months now!

So, I figured, maybe we should make a chocolate pizza! Ryan "helped" me to make it, and he was so excited!

Chocolate Cookie Pizza

The recipe:

1 tube of peanut butter cookie dough

12 oz. cream cheese (softened)

1 small package chocolate pudding

1 3/4 cup milk

Whipped cream (no idea how much I actually made!)

Chocolate chips

Roll out the peanut butter cookie dough onto a pizza pan and bake for approximately 15 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool.

Whip cream cheese until fluffy and smooth and spread over cooled crust.

Mix pudding mix with 1 3/4 cup milk and mix for approx. 3 minutes.

Spread pudding over top of cream cheese. Refrigerate and let set for 20 minutes.

Top pizza with whipped cream and sprinkle chocolate chips on the top.

(Note: the recipe orignally called for cool whip, but since I'm opposed to hydrogenated oils, I used real whipped cream. I just whipped the entire pint of cream with a little powdered sugar. But, if you use whipped cream, I would top each individual slice, not the entire pizza--unless it will be consumed all in one evening! Sometimes, the whipped cream gets soft and doesn't hold up as well when it is on the pizza.)

Yes Sir!

Catching up!

I know I have neglected my blog lately--it just has seemed like there is so much to do, and I'm lacking the energy to do most of it! Plus, it seems like January has been fairly uneventful. So, here are some pictures from Christmas to re-cap and catch up.

Ryan with Santa--there was NO way he was sitting on his lap! But he didn't cry this year!

Reading his Christmas book with Jamie on Christmas Eve.

Christmas morning!

In Seattle with Elisabeth!

Enjoying the snow while it lasted!!